What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
Immanuel doesn't pun, he Kant.
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
When Julius Ceasar got defeated by Brutus in 'Battleship,' he said, "A2 Brute?"
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein's origin and history, he said, "I am relatively aware of it."
People hated Ho Chi Minh because he was Hanoi-ing.
During the cold war all the countries involved went into hibernation.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
I saw the Liberty Bell.
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
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