Why are gnomes friends with dolls?
They like to share clothes.
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
Go big or go gnome.
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
Go to BabaMail
