I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
Why are gnomes friends with dolls?
They like to share clothes.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
Go to BabaMail
