Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
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