Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
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