What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
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