What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
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