What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
Go to BabaMail
