Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
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