What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
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