Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
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