Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
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