Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
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