Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
The guy who got arrested for eating batteries…. He is to be charged in the morning.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
I started ironing my clothes...
To de-crease how bad I looked
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
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