I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
What is a jedi electrician’s favorite tool?
His lightsaber.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
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