The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
My friend dragged me to a lecture about lamps. I though it would be boring but...
It was very illuminating.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
What do you call a bad electrician? A shock absorber!
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
The sun is just a big space heater.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
Go to BabaMail
