Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
The superconductor left without resistance.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
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