What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
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