Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
The superconductor left without resistance.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
"I'M BREADY TO DIE"
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
Why are the electricians always up to date? Because they are ‘current specialists.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my husband carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
What would you call a power failure? A current event.
My wife said to me that the spark between us had gone. So, I tasered her, and I’ll ask her again when she wakes up.”
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don’t serve your kind here.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
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