What do you call an elderly Spanish man?
A senõr citizen.
What do you call someone from Spain who lives near the Portuguese border?
Span-ish.
How does Italy execute its criminals?
Guidotine.
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.
Me: I couldn’t Bolivia!
What Beatles song charted highest in Italy?
Penne Lane.
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
The Leaning Tower of Pisa is in Italy
So it’s italicized!
Why do people in Greece not wake up until noon?
Because Dawn is tough on greece.
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
I checked my phone bill after my trip to Italy, and it said I spent DCXII dollars.
I must have left on Data Roman.
French guy goes into a bar with a frog on his head
The bartender asks “where’d you get that?” And the frog says “in France. There’s loads of them.”
If you don’t have a lot of figurines from Ancient Greek mythology, I can give you a mini tour.
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
By Demeter.
I asked my buddy if he wanted to know what the word “the” was in Spanish. He expressed his disinterest and I responded with...
"Your los."
France is beautiful in every Cezanne.
What do you call the Greek version of Spider-Man?
Pita Parker.
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
So I asked my Spanish friend if he knew where fish lived.
He said "Si."
Other people had drugs in school, but I brought Greek cheeses.
That way I could have math and feta cheese.
Some people say Greece should stop using the euro as currency...
I think they're being over-drachmatic.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
My friend learned Spanish by jotting sentences repeatedly...
He used wrote learning.
What do France and a pigeon have in common?
Every 5 minutes, there is a coo.
So in my trip to Spain i got attacked by a bull.
Oh man that's spainful.
I’ll try to keep it brief, but I have so much to Marseilles about France.
My son asked me what Micheal Jackson was doing in Italy
I told him he was "sight-heeheeing."
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
I was at my hotel in Spain and wasn't feeling well.
Reception said they had a doctor on staff.
The doctor asked me lots of questions and I was then feeling much better.
I told reception I didn't expect a hotel would have a doctor on staff
They said it was a Spanish Inn Physician
What language do they speak in Italy
Times New Roman.
A company from Israel took over the Greek national cheese factory in Greece
Now it's called the Cheeses of Nazareth.
I was joking with my mailman, and said I had a package to ship to Spain.... to Parcelona...
He didn't laugh though. The key to a joke like that is the delivery.
I saw this beautiful tower in Italy..
It was a Pisa art!
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.
‘’Euripides’’ says the tailor. ‘’Yeah, Eumenides?’’ replies the man.
Historians have discovered a new Greek God who didn’t excel at anything.
His name was mediocretese.
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
Another cheese factory in France exploded...
I Camembert to hear this joke again!
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
French people give me the crepes.
How do you leave any building in Spain?
You "follow salida lida lida..."
Did you hear about the watchmaker who is half Spanish and half Irish?
His name is Juan O'Clock.
Are these pants too tight in the Balzac?
I bought a 400 year-old chair from Italy,
but as soon as I sat on it, it baroque.
What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?
José and Hose-B.
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
Arisotto.
French history is nothing to Lafayette at.
Did you know that the Greek god Chronos was in the Mafia?
He was the Don of Time itself!
My son asked today “ Dad, are people in Spain cannibals?”
I answered “Why would you think that?”
He said “Well, my teacher said they mostly live off of tourists there.”
Building Inspectors should be stricter in Pisa, Italy.
Since they are a bit too *lean*ient.
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!
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