Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
Go to BabaMail
