Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
Go to BabaMail
