How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
Go to BabaMail
