What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
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