Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
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