What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
Go to BabaMail
