Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
Go to BabaMail
