Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
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