I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
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