Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
V
V
Edit*: sorry it seems as the CTRL button on my keyboard isn't working
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
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