What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.