What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
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