Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
Go to BabaMail
