What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
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