Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
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