What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.
Why do referees always hurry to catch their next flight? Because it's "two
minutes 'fore boarding!"
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
Why was the basketball court so slippery?
Because all the players were dribbling on it.
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
Opposing coaches facing the Leafs in the 60s and 70s knew that Dave was the
one to Keon.
Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
What can you serve and never eat? A volleyball!
What game do some skiers like to play on the road trip to the slopes?
Ice Spy With My Little Ice.
Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Do you know how to dunk cookies? Ask a basketball chef.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
Where do players hide their marijuana?
Between the stash marks.
Skier in ER: Doc, I slipped on my way to the chairlift.
Doctor: Icy.
If you want to impress the crowd, hit overheads. Every point will be a smash hit.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team. However, in sharp contrast to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
He was perfecting his swing
I like my breakfast like my tennis grip: Continental.
Where do Danish players aim with the puck? Top kroner.
Djokovic to his friends the morning after winning the U.S. Open: Is anyone hungry for some Denny’s? Because I would like another Grand Slam.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
I tried to hit the picture cleanly over the fence, but it was framed.
Can linesmen enter the Hall of Fame? Yes, because they decide who's HOFside.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
We had an argument on our way back from the tournament. Our position is that their goal was stopping ours.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
The last thing I can remember was the yellow ball speeding toward me. I swung the racquet, and then things got fuzzy.
The judge sentenced the basketball player to life imprisonment because he shot the ball.
Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.
The bowling solder decided to launch a pre-emptive strike.
What do you call a free treadmill?
The Great Outdoors.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarter back.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
Football is one habit I will never kick
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