If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
I like big punts and I cannot lie
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Give me some pigskin
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
I feel tail great!
I like your tight end
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Prepare to be bowled over.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
Calm before the score
Football is one habit I will never kick.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Go to BabaMail
