What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Join us for plenty of play action.
Prepare to be bowled over.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Give me some pigskin
Football is one habit I will never kick
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
By the seat of one’s punt
Football is one habit I will never kick.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
I feel tail great!
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
The calm before the score
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
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