Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
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