The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
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