What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
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