How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
What do you call a Smart TV?
In-telly-gent.
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
What TV shows are squeaky clean?
Soap Operas
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on this after the break.
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
My son asked me how I never seemed to lose the TV remote when he was growing up.
I told him I'd always put it in a location away from all the clutter...
A remote location.
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me...?
Find out next week.
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
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