What did the British man say to the man with the submachine gun he's never met?
Uzi?
What caliber is Chekhov's gun?
Catch-22.
What did the knife say to the other knife? Knife to meet you!
My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can print a gun, but I’m not impressed.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
What do you call babies with guns?
Infantry.
What do you call a boat in training?
An apprenticeship.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
Why do all the boats in Scandinavia have barcodes on the sides of them?
It makes it easier to... scan da navy in.
Did you hear about the boat dock that committed murder?
He’s going to be judged by a jury of its piers.
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
Why did all the passengers on the right side of the ship have dead cell phones?
They weren’t on the port side of the ship.
Guns don’t kill people...
Bullets, it’s bullets that kill people.
When the first nuclear bomb was detonated all the neutrons were sad.
Because their parents had just split.
What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
"OK boomer."
What is Tesla's favorite gun?
A musket
I went to test my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.
A functional gun shoots
While a broke one needs troubleshooting.
If Kim Jong-un had a private yacht, it would be a dictator ship
You’re traveling the Oregon Trail and you meet a man named Terry. You say “Terry? That’s a girls name!” He pulls out his gun and shoots you.
You have died from dissin' Terry.
What did the Bluetooth say as the ship went down?
"Help! We’re syncing!"
What do you call the first person to kill someone with a gun?
First person shooter
What do you call a Monkey with a bomb
A baboom.
Why are snails allowed on ships?
Escargot.
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
What is one way to save money when you go to the lake?
Buy a “sale boat.”
Homeless man attacks kid with a knife
Don’t worry the kid was fine. He had a knife.
What do you call a sheep with a machine gun?
Lambo.
My boat is starting to sink, I'm going to sell it.
See my boat listing in the paper.
What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?
A pairing knife
Fortune-teller was killed by a car bomb
Couldn’t foresee the C4.
I was surprised when I saw a boat in the driveway so I asked my wife about it.
She said there was a great sail.
A man struggled to cut up his dinner. His wife asked, “what’s wrong, hunny?” The man sighed, and said:
“This knife just isn’t gonna cut it.”
My writer buddy went to buy a new boat...
He named it Penman-Ship.
I got fired from the bomb disposal squad
Too bad, I had a blast working there.
If I ever get drafted into the Navy, and they make me choose what boat to get on.
I would just say frig it.
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife? A heartless killer.
Where do boats go when they feel sick?
To the dock.
What do you call a boat full of high school graduates
A scholarship.
You know what really floats my boat?
Surface tension.
I knew a guy in jail who would never knife a man in the back or when he was down
He was the very model of shivalry.
Mike Tyson bought a yacht and immediately wrecked it.
Who woulda thunk it?
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
What is a popular videogame for young utensils?
Fork Knife.
Those soldiers thought they could blow up that submarine with their bomb...
but they needed to sea mine.
Help!!! There's nobody steering this yacht!!
Don't worry. It's on yachtopilot.
What do you do when you're in a knife fight with a group of clowns?
Go for the juggler.
What sound did the gun make when the priest shot through two benches to kill a mass shooter?
PEW PEW
What did the pilot of the Enola Gay say before dropping the bomb ?
"Let me Atom."
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