What gun does a military chef use?
A salt rifle.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
What sound did the gun make when the priest shot through two benches to kill a mass shooter?
PEW PEW
Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand]
Cat: You're one short buddy.
I'm Going to Host a Boat Race.
The winner will get pasta. It will be called the Penne Regatta.
What did the knife say to the other knife? Knife to meet you!
I wanted to tell a knife joke to my friend
But it just won't cut it.
Why do all the boats in Scandinavia have barcodes on the sides of them?
It makes it easier to... scan da navy in.
What do you call a boat in training?
An apprenticeship.
A sad bullet comes home to his family.
"Honey you look terrible!" Exclaims his wife. "What happened?"
"I got fired."
Help!!! There's nobody steering this yacht!!
Don't worry. It's on yachtopilot.
Homeless man attacks kid with a knife
Don’t worry the kid was fine. He had a knife.
Why are big boats called "Yachts"?
Because they cost "Yachts of money".
Why don't they make boats out of peppers?
Because they're always capsaicin!
What is a popular videogame for young utensils?
Fork Knife.
What do you call a snail on a boat?
A snailor.
"Do you know how long it takes for a bomb to explode?"
No, but dynamite!
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
I was surprised when I saw a boat in the driveway so I asked my wife about it.
She said there was a great sail.
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
A man struggled to cut up his dinner. His wife asked, “what’s wrong, hunny?” The man sighed, and said:
“This knife just isn’t gonna cut it.”
Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?
So when they come back to port they can scandinavian.
What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
"OK boomer."
Where do boats go when they feel sick?
To the dock.
Yesterday, a man threatened to kill himself with a knife and someone called the cops.
Today he died of his gunshot wounds.
What did the British man say to the man with the submachine gun he's never met?
Uzi?
Watched a TV show about how they build ships.
It was riveting.
If Kim Jong-un had a private yacht, it would be a dictator ship
What caliber is Chekhov's gun?
Catch-22.
What do you call an imaginary yacht?
A dream boat.
A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
I knew a guy in jail who would never knife a man in the back or when he was down
He was the very model of shivalry.
Those soldiers thought they could blow up that submarine with their bomb...
but they needed to sea mine.
I’d like to buy a catamaran or a yacht.
I’d like to get the best of boat words.
What did the pilot of the Enola Gay say before dropping the bomb ?
"Let me Atom."
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
A bomb goes of in a cheese shop.
You can see da brie everywhere.
What kind of melody does a ship makes when if it crashes on shore?
A wreck-quiem.
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife? A heartless killer.
Guns don’t kill people...
Bullets, it’s bullets that kill people.
What do you do when you miss the ferry?
Call a canoe-ber.
What do you call a Monkey with a bomb
A baboom.
Fortune-teller was killed by a car bomb
Couldn’t foresee the C4.
What did the Bluetooth say as the ship went down?
"Help! We’re syncing!"
A functional gun shoots
While a broke one needs troubleshooting.
What happened when Napoleon got killed with a bomb?
Napoleon Blownapart.
Mike Tyson bought a yacht and immediately wrecked it.
Who woulda thunk it?
What do you call a boat full of high school graduates
A scholarship.
I went to test my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.
What do you call a sheep with a machine gun?
Lambo.
Go to BabaMail
