What do you call the first person to kill someone with a gun?
First person shooter
What do you call someone who owns a boat dealership?
A Sailsmen.
If I ever get drafted into the Navy, and they make me choose what boat to get on.
I would just say frig it.
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
What is Tesla's favorite gun?
A musket
Why did Immanuel Kant lend his machine gun to forces plotting a military coup?
Because he willed that his Maxim could make a general rule.
I wanted to tell a knife joke to my friend
But it just won't cut it.
A functional gun shoots
While a broke one needs troubleshooting.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
You know what really floats my boat?
Surface tension.
I was surprised when I saw a boat in the driveway so I asked my wife about it.
She said there was a great sail.
A man struggled to cut up his dinner. His wife asked, “what’s wrong, hunny?” The man sighed, and said:
“This knife just isn’t gonna cut it.”
What kind of gun would a cat have?
A Mauser.
What did the pilot of the Enola Gay say before dropping the bomb ?
"Let me Atom."
The knife that Abraham used to kill Isaac has been found in Britain.
Apparently, it was a Dyson.
I wasn't wearing hearing protection when the atom bomb went off.
Now I am become deaf, destroyer of worlds.
What do you call babies with guns?
Infantry.
What is a popular videogame for young utensils?
Fork Knife.
What do you do when you're in a knife fight with a group of clowns?
Go for the juggler.
What do you call a selfish bomb?
Mine.
Did you hear about the boat dock that committed murder?
He’s going to be judged by a jury of its piers.
Why did the man bring a gun to the clock factory?
To kill some time.
I’m sure my wife has been putting glue on my weapons collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
I don’t believe in boats
I have yacht to see one.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
What do you call a boat full of high school graduates
A scholarship.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
What sound did the gun make when the priest shot through two benches to kill a mass shooter?
PEW PEW
What's the difference between a knife and an argument with a man?
The knife has a point.
Watched a TV show about how they build ships.
It was riveting.
What caliber is Chekhov's gun?
Catch-22.
Never criticize a gun owner until you've walked a mile in his shoes
That way he'll be barefoot and you'll be out of range.
I'm Going to Host a Boat Race.
The winner will get pasta. It will be called the Penne Regatta.
What do you call a big boat full of fish
A carp ark.
Fortune-teller was killed by a car bomb
Couldn’t foresee the C4.
How does a bomb choose not to go off?
It refuses.
"Do you know how long it takes for a bomb to explode?"
No, but dynamite!
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
What do you call a seamstress that snuck aboard a ship?
A sew-away!
Fork: "Who was that ladle I saw you with last night?"
Spoon: "That was no ladle. That was my knife."
Who has the best place on a sailing ship?
The mast, because it has the pole-position.
Where does Google keep their ships?
In the Google Docs.
Why don't boats have funerals?
They have wakes.
A sad bullet comes home to his family.
"Honey you look terrible!" Exclaims his wife. "What happened?"
"I got fired."
What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
"OK boomer."
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
Why are snails allowed on ships?
Escargot.
Mike Tyson bought a yacht and immediately wrecked it.
Who woulda thunk it?
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