If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
"Which hand do you wipe with?"
""I don't use my hands, I use toilet paper."
I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
Why are urinals the worst place to spend time?
Because it’s where all the di**s hang out.
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to go two spots away, it's called "social pisstancing".
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
What condiment needs to go to the restroom the most?
Must-turd.
If you’re Russian to the bathroom, Finnish when you leave, what are you while you are in?
European.
I feel bad for toilets.
They go through a lot of s**t
Why does it cost $1 to use the urinal at the Department of Homeland Security?
If you pee something, pay something.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
How does a napkin sneeze?
Tissue.
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
My neighbour didn't like it when I told him off about hoarding toilet paper
To be honest, I think he was being very anal about it.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist when they go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
What type of toilet paper does the math house have?
Multiply.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
I used my credit card to buy 1-ply toilet paper.
And now I'm paying for it.
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
I was mad on the toilet this morning since I was running late, and I thought to myself...
I don’t have time for this crap!
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
It wasn’t my idea to get bidet...
But now I kinda like the little squirt.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
Which one of Sneezy’s kids hid his tissue paper?
Runny Knows!
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
I ran out of toilet paper last week, tried the closest thing I could find: the newspapers. Now the realisation has kicked in...
The Times are really Rough!
What did the flirty napking say to the dinner guests?
"Let me sit on your lap"
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
Walked into a restroom and saw an "Out of order" sign on a urinal.
It's going to be tough to move all these urinals to get them back in the right order....
What do you call the second tissue paper?
Kleenext.
What do you call it when you need a break at work and go to the bathroom even though you don't need to go?
A sham poo.
How do you work out how many rolls of toilet paper are in 4 packets of 16?
Multiply.
All the toilets in the police station have disappeared and they are asking for witnesses.
They currently have nothing to go on.
I managed to fix the toilet all on my own today! I'm so proud of myself. Some would even go as far as to say I'm...
flushed with success.
Two flies were sitting on a urinal. Everything was going well between them, until one got pissed.
Why didn't the toilet paper finish the race?
Because it was wiped out.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
Guess what I got my toilet for its birthday?
A Urinal cake.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
What kind of degree can you get at a urinal?
A Pee h.D.
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