Which one of Sneezy’s kids hid his tissue paper?
Runny Knows!
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
What type of toilet paper does the math house have?
Multiply.
My neighbour didn't like it when I told him off about hoarding toilet paper
To be honest, I think he was being very anal about it.
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.
"That s**t is getting old," I told him.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
Having to wipe with a hemorrhoid is a pain in the a**.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
"Have you seen our toilet roll?" asked my wife.
"Don't be silly," I replied.
"A toilet is a stationary object."
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
What do you call a toilet perched on top of an active volcano?
The lavatory.
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
They don’t maintain the outhouses at our campground anymore...
They’re real sh** holes.
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
"Is it the tar that smells like farts?"
"No, it was your asphalt"
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
How does a napkin sneeze?
Tissue.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
What condiment needs to go to the restroom the most?
Must-turd.
The urinals were broken at my dad's work
He had to walk a long distance to go to the bathroom. When the plumber came and informed him the urinals were fixed, my dad told him "I'm relieved!"
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
How do you make a tissue paper dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
Toilet paper plays an important roll in my life, it would be pretty sh**ty without it.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
Once we were so poor, we only had a calendar to use as toilet paper.
Now those days are behind me.
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
I was mad on the toilet this morning since I was running late, and I thought to myself...
I don’t have time for this crap!
I saw a sign above the urinal that read: "This is a urinal."
"No Sh**".
I saw a show where all the man did was sit on the toilet.
It was a s**tshow.
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
Only a**holes use bidets.
Toilet jokes aren’t my favorite...
But they’re a solid number 2.
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
Did you hear about the new book called "100 Miles to the Next Restroom"?
It's by Will E. Mayket and Betty Wunt.
What do you call the second tissue paper?
Kleenext.
My toilet just turned one today.
It was her bidet.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
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