Campground bathrooms are always behind the times.
They're all past tents.
What did the old urinal cake say to the new one?
"Oh boy, first day? Urine for a treat."
What do you call it when you need a break at work and go to the bathroom even though you don't need to go?
A sham poo.
What do you call the second tissue paper?
Kleenext.
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist when they go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
Heard a joke about urinals, but it didn't make me laugh.
I guess you had to pee there.
How does a napkin sneeze?
Tissue.
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
All the toilets in the police station have disappeared and they are asking for witnesses.
They currently have nothing to go on.
Why do they put lotion in tissues?
To soften the blow.
I’ve got a urinal that just won’t get serious...
It’s always taking the piss.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
Every time I flush the toilet...
Sh** goes down
A plumber comes home very upset and yells out to his wife- "honey, you would not believe the bidet I've had."
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
I will only give someone a kleenex if I've known them for a long time.
I guess you could say I have trust-tissues.
They don’t maintain the outhouses at our campground anymore...
They’re real sh** holes.
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
My girlfriend left me while I was crying in the bathroom with constipation. She told me that I was so full of it.
It was the hardest dump I ever took.
My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.
"That s**t is getting old," I told him.
Why could the toilet paper not stop?
Because it was on a role.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
It wasn’t my idea to get bidet...
But now I kinda like the little squirt.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
I was in the toilet for so long, I finally said to myself...
I'm getting too old for this s**t.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
I feel bad for toilets.
They go through a lot of s**t
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
What did the toilet say to the urinal after it was hired?
“Urine!”
If you don't use a bidet...
You're doing a half-a*sed job.
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
Once we were so poor, we only had a calendar to use as toilet paper.
Now those days are behind me.
Walked into a restroom and saw an "Out of order" sign on a urinal.
It's going to be tough to move all these urinals to get them back in the right order....
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
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