Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
Apparently my password needs to be capitals only so I've changed it to LONDONMADRIDROME.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
Go to BabaMail
