Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
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