Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
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