My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
Cell phones are a static symbol.
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
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