I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
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