What is a lightyear?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
Reading sun puns while sunbathing make one well red.
What planet is next to Uranus?
Poopiter.
The earth's rotation really makes my day.
"I heard some dictator wants to move the Earth further from the sun."
"Why??"
"Because it will take longer to make a full revolution."
I thought about studying the astronomy for my university. But then I thought, I would just be taking up space.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
What is the best way to observe the two planets between Jupiter and Neptune?
Saturn Uranus.
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
I know she means well.
Why wouldn’t the Moon come to the Sun’s funeral?
It isn’t a mourning person
How do astronauts cook their meals?
With a Space Heater!
When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his integral calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
What do you call a fashionable, but judgmental monster who howls at the moon?
A What Not To Wear-Wolf.
Why did the police arrest the star? That’s becuase it was a shooting star.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
What do you call the Earth when it is quaking?
Shakesphere.
When you cross summer sun with summer pun you get summer fun.
What do you think they use in space, when they run out of the drinking cups? The Big Dipper.
Any proof that Saturn married more than once? Well, he do has a lot of rings.
What ingredient is essential when baking a Star Wars cake?
Bicarbonate of Yoda
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
An astronaut broke up with his girlfriend
Apparently he didn't love her to the moon and back.
What do you think holds the moon up? Moonbeams.
What if the earth was both round and flat?
Would it be called cylindearth?
What do you call an alien with three eyes?
An aliiien.
What do you call a wizard aboard a spacecraft?
A flying sorcerer.
Why does Venus have a crush on the sun?
Because the sun is really hot.
Why did you guys not laugh at my space puns? Because there way to Sirius.
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
What kind of magazines would the planets prefer to read? Cosmos.
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum?
He got stuck in Orbit.
Why don't pets make good astronauts?
They're afraid of the spay station
What do you call two celebrities who get into a gun fight?
One is a shooting star, and the other is a falling star.
When does the moon gets his/her stomach full? During full moon.
Dud you know Astronauts said steaks are better in space?
They're a little meteor.
My wife will never forget falling asleep in the sun with her breast exposed.
It’s forever burned in her mammary.
Why doesn’t the sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees!
Why didnt the moon have any more to eat.
Becuase it was full
What's E.T. short for?
Because he's got little legs.
What do planets like to read?
Comet books.
Every time when I see a picture of something amazing in space, I usually say “That’s totally far out.”
What did Mars tell to Saturn? Give me a ring sometime!
Mountains aren't just funny.
They're hill areas.
Whats the first day of the week called in outer space?
Moonday.
A space fish is usually called starfish.
Scientists permit us to see the sun in different light.
Have you heard about the latest restaurant that opened up on moon?
No, how is that restaurant?
The sun is mad at the clouds because the clouds keep throwing shade.
What do you think the boy star told the girl star? I really glow for you.
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