What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
If athletes can get “Athletes foot”, what can astronauts get? Missile Toe.
What kind of light goes around the earth? A Satel-lite.
What kind of magazines would the planets prefer to read? Cosmos.
Last evening I walked up the hill in the park to see the planets. Stumbled over a lip in the concrete and went down pretty hard. Ripped pants and skinned hands and knees. When I got to the top I couldn't see a thing.
The view was NOT worth the trip.
Why doesn’t the sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees!
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
How many ears do you think a Spock has? Three. A right ear, left ear, and a final front ear.
I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
What do you call a meal from the moon?
A satellite dish.
Becoming a space pilot is not easy. It requires a good altitude.
The satellite went into the orbit, right on January 1st, causing a New Year’s revolution.
An astronaut broke up with his girlfriend
Apparently he didn't love her to the moon and back.
Do you know what is the favorite key of the astronauts?
The Spacebar.
What is a lightyear?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
How does one astronaut says sorry on the moon tell another astronaut? He Apollo-gises.
My dads astronaut friend ate pizza in space
He said it was out of this world.
People gave the sun a rating.
It was only one star.
What all kinds of stars wear the sunglasses? The movie stars.
What do you call an alien spaceship that's leaking water?
A crying saucer.
The sun is mad at the clouds because the clouds keep throwing shade.
Which candy do astronauts like? Marsbar.
Who is the first farmer to walk on the moon?
Neil Farmstrong.
What are the best kind of flowers to get your girlfriend after screwing up?
Whoopsie Daisies
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
Why didnt the moon have any more to eat.
Becuase it was full
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
When does the moon gets his/her stomach full? During full moon.
Why did you guys not laugh at my space puns? Because there way to Sirius.
Why does NASA give astronauts pencils to use in space?
Because they've got the Write Stuff.
Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics.
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
I know she means well.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
Reading sun puns while sunbathing make one well red.
I would have gone to space, but the cost is astronomical!
How does a Man cut his hair on the moon? Eclipse it.
What do you say to an astronaut looking for a car park
There's a spaceman.
Scientists permit us to see the sun in different light.
Every time when I see a picture of something amazing in space, I usually say “That’s totally far out.”
What do you think they use in space, when they run out of the drinking cups? The Big Dipper.
How can astronauts get more protein in their diet? They make it meteor.
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
The sun replies: I hurt everyone when they come close to me.
An astronaut who normally fails on a weightlessness experiment, might surely be aware of the gravity of the situation.
Do you know why no one has ever been sentenced for crimes committed on the moon?
Because it's a gray area.
What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
Why did the police arrest the star? That’s becuase it was a shooting star.
What do you call an alien with three eyes?
An aliiien.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
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