How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved escape velocity.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
What various kinds of fishes live in space? Starfish.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
Why is the taste of moon rock better than that of Earth rock? Because it’s a little meteor.
What do you call an alien with three eyes?
An aliiien.
Any proof that Saturn married more than once? Well, he do has a lot of rings.
What did Earth say to the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
What kind of tropical fruit wants to visit the moon?
A Coco-naut
The earth's rotation really makes my day.
Last evening I walked up the hill in the park to see the planets. Stumbled over a lip in the concrete and went down pretty hard. Ripped pants and skinned hands and knees. When I got to the top I couldn't see a thing.
The view was NOT worth the trip.
Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics.
"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
"No sun."
What do you call a wizard aboard a spacecraft?
A flying sorcerer.
Why didnt the moon have any more to eat.
Becuase it was full
How do you organise a welcome party for an alien race?
You planet.
How did the astronaut die?
exposure to Mercury.
If an astronaut steps on chewing gum then what will happen to him? He will simply be stuck on the Orbit.
What if the earth was both round and flat?
Would it be called cylindearth?
Mountains aren't just funny.
They're hill areas.
My wife will never forget falling asleep in the sun with her breast exposed.
It’s forever burned in her mammary.
Why does Moon goes to the bank? To change his quarters.
Becoming a space pilot is not easy. It requires a good altitude.
Old astronomers got so tired of waiting for the sun to go down, that they decided to pack it up and call it a day.
If athletes can get “Athletes foot”, what can astronauts get? Missile Toe.
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
When a planet dies, does it get an orbituary?
Living on Earth might be expensive. But we surely get a free trip around the sun every year!
Mooning is very ASStrological
Why does NASA give astronauts pencils to use in space?
Because they've got the Write Stuff.
Why didnt the moon go outside?
Because it was waning.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
I've finally started to believe that Pluto is not really a planet...
Especially when I saw him in a cartoon.
What's E.T. short for?
Because he's got little legs.
An astronaut broke up with his girlfriend
Apparently he didn't love her to the moon and back.
How will you make a baby astronaut fall asleep peacefully? Rock-et.
How will you make the earth clean? By giving it a meteor shower.
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
Why did the cow go right up to the spaceship? To see the Mooooooooooon.
What do you call an overweight alien?
An extra cholesterol.
Why is the moon so conceited at times?
It becomes full of itself.
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.
When does the moon gets his/her stomach full? During full moon.
This year, I've really enjoyed watching 'Planet Earth'.
It's a shame that it only has four seasons.
Beer is the greatest beverage on earth.
That's my pint of view, anyway.
How did the aliens hurt the farmer?
They trod on his corn.
A space fish is usually called starfish.
What do you call an alien spaceship that's leaking water?
A crying saucer.
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, “What’s your favourite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
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