Reading sun puns while sunbathing make one well red.
If athletes can get “Athletes foot”, what can astronauts get? Missile Toe.
How will you save yourself if you come across an aggressive alien? Give him some space.
If an astronaut steps on chewing gum then what will happen to him? He will simply be stuck on the Orbit.
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
How will you make a baby astronaut fall asleep peacefully? Rock-et.
What time do spacemen get up? Alien in the morning.
How did the astronaut die?
exposure to Mercury.
Why does the earth appreciate the moon so much?
It keeps the oceans tidy.
How can astronauts get more protein in their diet? They make it meteor.
The earth's rotation really makes my day.
What planet is next to Uranus?
Poopiter.
Why did the police arrest the star? That’s becuase it was a shooting star.
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum?
He got stuck in Orbit.
How does one astronaut on the moon tell another astronaut that he is sorry?
He apollo-gises.
I thought about studying the astronomy for my university. But then I thought, I would just be taking up space.
Why does Venus have a crush on the sun?
Because the sun is really hot.
What will you call a crazy spaceman? An astronaut.
Sun to Earth, on the night of 31st December:
"Let's have another round, shall we?"
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
Well, there are mixed reviews. People say the food is great. But there is no atmosphere or ambience.
What do you say to an astronaut looking for a car park
There's a spaceman.
Two astronauts who were dating, met up for a launch date.
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
What is an astronauts favourite type of shirt?
Apollo
The moon asked the sun: Buddy when you are so hot, why are you single yet?
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...
“That’s just spam.”
My dads astronaut friend ate pizza in space
He said it was out of this world.
Why did the cow go right up to the spaceship? To see the Mooooooooooon.
I’m currently reading a book on anti-gravity and it’s impossible to put it down.
What do you call the Earth when it is quaking?
Shakesphere.
What kind of light goes around the earth? A Satel-lite.
Why don't pets make good astronauts?
They're afraid of the spay station
Every time when I see a picture of something amazing in space, I usually say “That’s totally far out.”
What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
They Apollogize
How does the sun say hi to the moon?
With a heat wave!
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
The sun is mad at the clouds because the clouds keep throwing shade.
What do you call a meal from the moon?
A satellite dish.
How do planets staying busy during hunting season?
By shooting stars.
What are the best kind of flowers to get your girlfriend after screwing up?
Whoopsie Daisies
Why is the moon a wanted criminal?
It’s constantly mooning people.
How does a Man cut his hair on the moon? Eclipse it.
An astronaut who normally fails on a weightlessness experiment, might surely be aware of the gravity of the situation.
Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.
He's over the moon!He's over the moon!
What type of elements know everybody on earth?
Met-all.
What ingredient is essential when baking a Star Wars cake?
Bicarbonate of Yoda
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
Why don't aliens get hungry after being blasted into space?
Because they've just had a big launch.
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