Have you heard about some bones on the moon? Looks like the cow couldn’t make it after all.
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
I know she means well.
I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
Where do you think the astronauts keep their sandwiches? In the launch-box.
What did Earth say to the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me.
What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
Why these days, the Moon is up till so late? Don’t worry, it is just going through a phase.
Why is the taste of moon rock better than that of Earth rock? Because it’s a little meteor.
What kind of tropical fruit wants to visit the moon?
A Coco-naut
What do you think they use in space, when they run out of the drinking cups? The Big Dipper.
Why did you guys not laugh at my space puns? Because there way to Sirius.
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet.
Space X has really taken off this past year.
People gave the sun a rating.
It was only one star.
Canada is planning a mission to the moon
They're calling the spaceship the Apollo-G.
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved escape velocity.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his integral calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
An astronaut did a huge crime. He broke the law of gravity and hence, got a suspended sentence.
What is the best way to observe the two planets between Jupiter and Neptune?
Saturn Uranus.
When astronauts die, the local papers run an orbituary.
Why did the police arrest the star? That’s becuase it was a shooting star.
Are Earth and Moon good friends? Yes, they’ve been going around together for many years now.
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star.
What time do spacemen get up? Alien in the morning.
Why is the moon a wanted criminal?
It’s constantly mooning people.
What holds the moon up?
Moonbeams!
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid on the planet?
It's pasteurized before you see it.
How do astronauts cook their meals?
With a Space Heater!
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
How will you come to know when the moon will go broke? It would happen when moon is down to its last quarter.
What are Astronauts doing when they do a mistake?
They Apollogize
What do you say to an astronaut looking for a car park
There's a spaceman.
How did the astronaut die?
exposure to Mercury.
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, “What’s your favourite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
My daughter asked me, "Why are the two planets coming close together?"
"Well, you see... When two planets love each other they can come together in holy astro nomy."
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
What is a lightyear?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
How will you save yourself if you come across an aggressive alien? Give him some space.
Where do astronauts go for lunch?
Apollo Loco.
Last night I was but by a bloodsucker from the moon.
Damn lunatics.
What do you call an overweight alien?
An extra cholesterol.
Why does Venus have a crush on the sun?
Because the sun is really hot.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
If athletes can get “Athletes foot”, what can astronauts get? Missile Toe.
What do you call a meal from the moon?
A satellite dish.
My wife will never forget falling asleep in the sun with her breast exposed.
It’s forever burned in her mammary.
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