"I heard some dictator wants to move the Earth further from the sun."
"Why??"
"Because it will take longer to make a full revolution."
Which candy do astronauts like? Marsbar.
Can an Australian with poor vision clearly see the moon?
No, but a "good eye might."
What do aliens prefer to drink?
Gravi-tea.
He knew literally everything about the constellations. Some might even say that his knowledge of the night sky was astronomical.
Why didnt the moon go outside?
Because it was waning.
What is the angriest place on Earth?
Ire-land
What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
Why is Jupiter so sad and heartbroken? Because his crush wants a plutonic relationship with him.
What did Mars tell to Saturn? Give me a ring sometime!
What all kinds of stars wear the sunglasses? The movie stars.
What will you do when you will see a spaceman? You will simply park your car, man!
How does one astronaut on the moon tell another astronaut that he is sorry?
He apollo-gises.
Whats the first day of the week called in outer space?
Moonday.
How do astronauts cook their meals?
With a Space Heater!
How does one astronaut says sorry on the moon tell another astronaut? He Apollo-gises.
When does the moon gets his/her stomach full? During full moon.
Why is the taste of moon rock better than that of Earth rock? Because it’s a little meteor.
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
How does a Man cut his hair on the moon? Eclipse it.
Can’t wait for the first married woman to walk on the red planet.
Just so I can ask if there’s wife on Mars.
Why does nobody invite Jupiter to the space parties? Because he has too much gas, always…
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
What do you think walking on the moon is like?
Not very impactful.
When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his integral calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
Who is the first farmer to walk on the moon?
Neil Farmstrong.
What do you call a fashionable, but judgmental monster who howls at the moon?
A What Not To Wear-Wolf.
Why does no one trust the man on the moon?Why does no one trust the man on the moon?
Because he has a dark side!
A sun walks into a black hole.
The black hole says to the sun "I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation".
How can astronauts get more protein in their diet? They make it meteor.
Have you heard about some bones on the moon? Looks like the cow couldn’t make it after all.
I dare you to lie that you didn’t find all these space puns hilarious. Th
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.
An astronaut did a huge crime. He broke the law of gravity and hence, got a suspended sentence.
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
It is difficult to hold up a trouser. How does Jupiter does it? Simply, with an asteroid belt.
Why is the moon a wanted criminal?
It’s constantly mooning people.
What did Neil Armstrong say when people didn't laugh at his moon jokes?
"I guess you had to be there."
Why did the cow go right up to the spaceship? To see the Mooooooooooon.
Reading sun puns while sunbathing make one well red.
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
What do you call a person really crazy about the moon
A lunatic.
What do you think they use in space, when they run out of the drinking cups? The Big Dipper.
Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think they'll change it back.
It's only a phase, after all.
What is the best way to observe the two planets between Jupiter and Neptune?
Saturn Uranus.
Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
Why didnt the moon have any more to eat.
Becuase it was full
Got my friend an unnecessarily large rocket for bonfire night.
He's over the moon!He's over the moon!
What is suns favorite chocolate bar?
A milky way.
What will you call a crazy spaceman? An astronaut.
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