Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
I sit in front if my ex in physics.
There used to be a lot of friction between us.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
My vaccine dad joke failed.
But it was worth a shot.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
What does a biologist wear when they're going out?
Designer genes.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
Today, I changed a light bulb, crossed a street, and walked into a bar.
My life is a joke.
Never argue with Pi, it's irrational.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
My Physics teacher said I have no potential.
Joke's on her, I just bought a ladder.
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
I passed my degree in sound engineering. I got 1-2-1-2!
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
The sun is just a big space heater.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
Why are the electricians always up to date? Because they are ‘current specialists.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
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