I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
What do football players wear on their heads? Helminth
Why do anti vaxxers hate vaccine jokes?
They never get them.
KFC have hired geneticists to edit chicken DNA
Apparently they want something CRISPR.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
What did Sparticus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife?
Nothing, he's gladiator.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
With all the talk of the pandemic and vaccines recently, I decided to consult a micro-biologist.
I thought they'd be smaller.
What do Alfred the Great and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Their middle name.
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
I wonder why Lenin didn't realize that communism would fail to work. There were so many red flags everywhere.
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