Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
What element is derived from a Norse god? Thorium.
What happens when someone throws a rock at you? Rock bottom hits you.
If this new covid vaccine works...
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th.
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
What did the Italian marine Biologist say when asked to identify an eel?
That's a moray!
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
Air resistance is a real drag.
One fundamental lesson our teacher has taught us in History class while talking about the Civil War was never to take victory for Grant-ed.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
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