Have you heard the fast gladiator that was a tumor covered in dough?
He was a Roamin' Tumor Roll.
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
I bought a new heater for my wife.
She didn't like it first, but now I think she's warmed up to it.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
I once convinced my younger brother to swallow a small lamp.
I got in so much trouble but it was worth it to see his little face light up.
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
How do you tell the difference between boys and girls?
Take their genes down.
If you need an Ark, I Noah guy.
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Go to BabaMail
