Do scientists who study the sun have a flare for research?
The biggest irony in the world's history is that the Russian alphabet has no letters in lowercase. It is all Capitalization.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
Did you hear about the geologist who went to jail?
He was charged with basalt and battery.
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
I studied archeology
Now my life is in ruins.
Working on lab science animals is a real rat race.
Using vaccines is...
Antibody-building.
The yearbook superlative that Robert Lee had given in his graduation was "Most likely to secede."
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay.
I got full marx.
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
It was too far to swim.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
Power naps are great. You can really build up charge with them.
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? He was a dirty layer!
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington's army?
Laugh-ayette!
What is the difference between archeology and grave robbing?
About 200 years
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
What to give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday?
Shorts.
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
What's a snake's favorite subject to study in school? Hisssstory.
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
Serotonin and Dopamine: Technically, the only things you enjoy.
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
Go to BabaMail
