What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
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