How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
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