You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
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