What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Why did a pirate leave the boat to get his forgotten cell phone? Booty calls.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Go to BabaMail
