I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
Cell phones are a static symbol.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
Go to BabaMail
